I am a kindergarten teacher and a parent is giving me a hard time.?

Question

She hasn't said anything to me and I have ask her to talk to me on a number of occassion. She is bad mouthing me behind my back which is upsetting other parents. She say her son isn't happy...though he always arrives in school with a big smile.
I am really lucky in all my years of teaching never to be faced with this problem..nothing I do pleases her. She wants her kid to play all the time with no working..i.e. no number work, nothing..just play. I can't do that I am a teacher not a babysitter.

What can I do to make things better without bowing down to her every wish?

Answer 1

I have almost the same situation happening in my 5th grade class. I know that I am a good teacher and I work with confidence at all times. I've never allowed this parent to treat me in a disrespecting manner and I've remained civil. However here's what I'm doing to protect myself:



Document, document, document

Never meet with her alone, always have another teacher, EA or Principal with you.

Make your principal aware of what is going on

Keep work samples of her child



However, have a conference with the principal and parent. Let the parent know that passing Kindergarten (or any grade, really) depends on the work her child does. While she may want him to play all day and be undisciplined, that will not be allowed at school...have your principal corroborate you on this. If her child does not work, and is unruly. How does she expect him to learn? Then, finally, make it known that parents always have a choice about where their child learns. If she'd like to try a private school, charter school, or any other school / teacher (if your principal allows) that is also up to her.



Really, all we have to do is put responsibility back where it belongs...with the parent. Education begins at home and we only have these kids for a short amount of time. What does she want? A miracle? We are not miracle workers, and we need a TEAM if we're going to help any child succeed. The mother needs to realize that she's not being a good team player.

Answer 2

Maybe its time to get the principle involved. Have him/her call her into the conference with both of you. Once in the conference, obviously, you as the teacher would tell her the school cirriculum, etc. Tell her how happy he is at school. My daughter is in pre school last year and this year and I am happy that it is not all play. I want her prepared for kindergarten. I think an education is important. Explain to her that kindergarten is just as important as any other grade in a childs development. As far as her comments to other parents, if they are upset about them then they are not taking this woman seriously but that could be considered slander. I dont know if you want to go there. Im not sure what to do about that except you could confront her, not on school grounds, or perhaps while you are in the interview with the principle there. i would not say anything to this woman without someone there with you. Thats too bad that some parents are like that.

Answer 3

I know it can be frustrating but I think you are approaching this correctly. You are there to educate the child, not babysit the kid. I know you've heard that old saying "you can please some of the people some of time, but you cannot please all the people all the time"? Just keep that in mind. I'm sure the parent is just remembering back to when they were in K when K was basically just used to get kids use to the concept of being away from mom and dad and learning wasn't the focus. Not real sure how you can get this "concept" across to her without having an altercation though. I really applaud you for what you doing though in giving these kids a good head start (number work, etc...) Just remember that you are there for the education and benefit of the kids, not to make sure that a particular parent or parents approve of what your doing. Stick to your guns, sounds like your doing a great job.

PS.....My K teacher was Mrs. Howard and I still remember her vividly even though I was in K in the mid 70's. I'm sure your pupils will remember you too : ) GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

Before you take this one to your principal talk to the previous teacher if the child had one to see what she or he did. Then proceed to phone her again asking her to come in with her child for a few hours and sit in the classroom and watch or even assist in some way. Making this sort of an effort will insure the Principal that you did make steps to rectify the problem before coming to him or her. If that doesn't work try sending the work home with the child for her to assist him with it at home,signed by the parent and returned to school the next school day for that child. Also explain in the note home that it is necessary for her son to be prepared for grade one math and that this needs to be done now in your classroom this year. Now if it comes back unsigned and incompleted from home or not at all then go to the principal with your complaint about this woman and ask for an interview with the 3 of you. Keep a record of what you did and when you did it so that this can be used in the interview to explain your side of the story. It could be that this woman was once a teacher and she thinks she knows what schools should be teaching but stick to your guns on what your school curriculm is all about. This parent may also be jealous of you, perhaps she hears constant stories of Miss Jones says this or Miss Jones does that or the child raves on about what you wear or how you talk, remember this may be her only son and now he wants to be with you more than with her. Now at the meeting state your situation and let not only the parent but the principal know what must be done to avert a possible bad year for not only her son but also for your teaching career. Good luck and remember to document everything so that this will not play back on your abilities as a teacher.

Answer 5

I have read some of the answers on here, the one where it says flunk her child, I do not agree with, it is not this child's fault that she is acting this way. You need to talk to the principal about this. Have the principal, you, and the parent have a conference. Have the principal back you up 100%, you have a job to do, just as she does if she works. You are to make sure this child is learning and not just playing. You need to ensure the parent that you are doing what you need to do to be sure that this student is ready for 1st grade. She must be a parent who does not want to see her child grow up, so it is very hard for her to let go. Do a parent, teacher, principal conference. Have the principal talk to her while you are in the room, that way if something can not be answered by the principal, you can jump in and answer it. I feel this would be best. That way if she does not talk to you, before it gets further out of hand, where your job is not in jeopardy, the principal knows what is going on.

Answer 6

Bring this up to your principal. Talking about you behind your back could cause problems if the other parents start believing her.Send a note home with the child explaining that Kindergarten is not play time. Send her a copy of your schedule showing when recess is. If she wants play time all the time then she needs to check into a Montessori school. They let the children do basically what they want all day.

Answer 7

It seems to me this parents does not want her child to grow up and by having to put him in school for the first year is now taking away from her free time because she has to sit down everynight and do homework and read to him which is not what she wants to do, in the end though we all know this is the best for our children to be able to succeed. Since the child does seem happy in your classroom I would not bother him because I am pretty sure he has no clue that his mother is bad mouthing you. If her unwillingness to cooperate to help in her child succeeding I believe it is time to set up a parent teach conference with the principle in attendance as well and let her know her child needs her attention when doing homework. Regarding her bad mouthing let her do if she wants to be sooo immature she is just mad about the situation and you seemed to be in the situation and your the closest to attack so she does it in hopes that other parents will agree. If you are a great teacher which I assume you are if you have been teaching many years than these parents will not listen and brush her off and soon she will see she is not getting attention with her fits and she will discontinue them. Best to luck to you



p.s. school is not neccesarily about pleasing the parents if child seems fine then it is okie she might be having withdrawal issues as well and does not know how to cope. you are the child's new friend to be with all day long.

Answer 8

I agree with the person above who stated that it is not the child's fault. Sounds like the five year old is more mature than the Mom. I do feel sorry for this child, however. Even after he/she continues on in school, the Mother will not doubt continue to be a weight. Hold your head up, you are doing the right thing. Document everything, though, in case something comes up later. Good Luck.

Answer 9

speaking from experience. share this problem with the administrator. Document everything. any pictures the child draws for you keep and file. When speaking to the parent have a witness. Call a group parent meeting one evening if necessary such as open house. this might draw out the complainer in to the open and allow parent to be addressed by the administrator directly. Perhaps they have no clue what a kinder garden is.

Answer 10

I would have a meeting with my parents letting them know if there is any problem personal or with what I am teaching or home work please come to me not to other parents and let them know if they are not satisfied we can go to the principal and talk about it,don't let words cause you your job or your comfort in your own class room, you are probably dealing with a spoil child

or a immature parent ,do your best ,that's all any one can ask, teaching kids from different back grounds and behavior problem ain't easy

Answer 11

nicely i think of there could be a center floor. Media is clearly the extra worthwhile venue yet you want to be around toddlers and practice them. So how approximately going to media study for baby's exhibits? in case you double majored in the two media and coaching you would be waiting to make exhibits that taught toddlers in the path of the television (seem at sesame street, Barney, and different such tutorial baby's exhibits) i'm specific it somewhat is not your acceptable activity, yet i think of you would be reasonably pleased with it and be making a very sturdy residing. and because you would be double majoring you will continuously have the prospect to flow into coaching in an prolonged time when you have made some sturdy money.

Answer 12

you need to enlist the help of your schools principle , set a meeting between yourself and principle explain what is happening then have the principle call a meeting with all of the concerned parties involved next step if that doesn't work involve the school board the child's mother seems to have problems and shouldn't be allowed to interfere with your reputation as a teacher

Answer 13

Flunk her kid in kindergarten that should teach this kid's mom a lesson. If she asks why, then you'll have the opportunity to say that is what she gets for letting her son just play at school.

Answer 14

Go to the Principal of your school, and set up a meeting with her, you and the principal......if she does not respond to the school, chances are she is just another one of those parents, you are not there to please the other parents, but have a responsibility to that child and his learning.

Answer 15

If she's not talking to you about it then don't respond at all.



If she's going around talking behind your back, she's really saying more about how she is than how you are.



Give it time. If you keep your dignity, you will prevail.

Answer 16

You defiantly need to talk with your principle/administrator. They can offer insight as to what to do. Maybe they can ask her for a conference.

Answer 17

Flunk her kid and say all she wanted me to do wit her kid was let him/her play all the time.

Answer 18

Maybe ask her if she wants him to have another teacher.

Answer 19

make sure you document everything she is doing